smallest dog

I am currently looking for freelance or low-hour part-time work. (This is in addition to my ongoing part-time work for Ruby Together.)

FREE IDEAS

Miscellaneous

  1. A publication dedicated to erotic disassembly. I tried, but my camera died and I have way too many projects on my plate at once, so it’s stagnated significantly.

Societal

  1. Abolish capitalism.
  2. Regardless of income:
    • Give literally everyone housing.
    • Give literally everyone food.
    • Give literally everyone healthcare.
  3. Fund the technology that the internet relies on. (See also: Heartbleed.)

Product Design

  1. When designing assistive devices, involve people who would use devices in the fucking process.
    • Also include them in the process of coming up with ideas for assistive devices.

Clothing

  1. “Women’s” pants, but with big pockets. And not obnoxiously expensive.
  2. “Men’s” button-down shirts, except made for people with boobs.
  3. Not gendering clothes.

Hardware

  1. A quarter-inch think (or more) phone with a 4” matte screen. Fill any unused space with battery.
  2. A computer architecture where you can rewind software execution.

Software

Games

  1. A game mechanic where, when interacting with a NPC, if they aren’t important to the plot, your character automatically murders them (with no method to prevent this). (Twitter thread.)

Things That Should Exist

  1. Making software actually work on less-powerful systems.
  2. Dictation software for Linux.
  3. A unix-like operating system, except with a better permissions system.
  4. An operating system that isn’t garbage. (TODO: document ideas on separate page.)
  5. A less obnoxious desktop environment. a. Twitter thread
  6. Create a subset of or modified version of Ruby that is guaranteed to terminate, callable directly from Ruby code, for e.g. implementing event handlers.
  7. A library for creating SSH servers in Ruby. Such as Net::SSHD, except make it actually work and maintain it
  8. Tools for helping musicians collaborate over the internet.
  9. A GitHub bot that detects undocumented overly-complicated code, and opens an issue about documenting it (and/or submits a PR adding a TODO to the code).
  10. polycul.es + webring(ish).
    • You link to your partners’ sites, they link to their partners’ sites, etc. Crawl them and generate a tree.
    • Should require the links to be mutual in order to be included in the tree, since this indicates consent.

Questionable/Just-for-fun

  1. Replacing Ruby’s garbage collector with one written in Ruby.
  2. An operating system where the kernel includes a Ruby interpreter. (I tried this and failed)
  3. Grep large codebases for the word “magic.”
  4. Make ‘!’ a postfix operator in Ruby, so screaming variables inverts them.
  5. Codegolfed Makefiles.
  6. A Linux distribution with a background service that can patch executables in-memory, and said service is very angry with you. (Twitter thread.)
  7. A <canvas> polyfill using a grid of 1x1 <div>s, each treated as a pixel, rendering images using background color and JavaScript.
  8. Ruby obfuscator that replaces variable and method names with emoji.
  9. TweetFS: A filesystem backed by a Twitter account.

Twitter/Mastodon Bots

  1. A bot that posts every error your computer generates. a. There may be some bad security things with this.
  2. Feed all GNU software manual pages to a markov bot.
  3. Feed all original UNIX software manual pages to a markov bot.
  4. A bot that combines emoji. With pictures.
    • E.g., 🙃 (upside-down face) + 🐶 (dog face) = upside-down dog face.

Music/Video

  1. Master of Puppers: A cover of Metallica’s Master of Puppets, except the vocals are dogs.
  2. Disney movies, but all the animals are people in fursuits.